Finding My "Why": A Journey with ESAIC Beyond Borders

May 28, 2025, 4:00 am. Istanbul Airport. 
On my way back from Euroanaesthesia in Lisbon. Another night spent at these familiar counters — alone with my backpack and a head full of dreams, waiting for my next transfer. Almost 24 hours of travel, just to arrive home. 

I’m sipping a cup of mint tea — though it can’t quite match the warmth of the one we shared at Maat Restaurant with the sustainability entrepreneurs. That evening had a special kind of warmth, born from good intentions and friendly conversations around the table. After all, it was a small group of people who cared enough for the earth to heal. 
Most importantly, a conversation with Dr Patricio, Dr Karmen and my dear friend Dr Alexandra keeps echoing in my mind: 
“Our ‘why’ has an origin story,” they had said, “and a moment emotionally connects us to our ‘why,’ our true purpose.” 
I find myself thinking back to discover my own moment, with a rush of nostalgia. 

I remember an image of myself from four years ago, just beginning my anaesthesiology training. One day, I received an email from the Turkish Society of Anaesthesiology, announcing the ESAIC Trainee Fellowship Grant. It felt like a revelation — a challenge I could embrace to express myself and step outside my comfort zone. That year, I was not selected. But I promised myself: I would do better next time. 

That perseverance brought me to 2023, to the annual congress in Glasgow. There, I was invited on stage alongside the Trainee Committee as an abstract grant winner. This grant, won among dozens of brilliant and competent doctors who apply from Turkiye every year, was a great source of pride that day. From the stage, I witnessed tiny twinkling lights waving among the huge audience. Little did I know that the young colleagues standing beside me would soon become friends and supporters across many miles. That year was a silver lining — and I promised myself I would follow those lights. 

Then came Munich in 2024, where I applied for a vacant position on the Trainee Committee. Though I was not officially elected, I was invited to work voluntarily with the committee. Whether official or voluntary, being part of that team felt like the perfect role to complement my ideals. I found a space where I could challenge ideas, brainstorm, lead, collaborate, and communicate. Every project completed with my inspiring teammates became an opportunity to develop lifelong skills. That year, I promised myself my efforts would not go to waste. 

And they didn’t. 

All of it brought me to this moment in 2025 — as the first Trainee Committee member from Türkiye. The confident woman I have become now has hundreds of friends across Europe and mentors to look up to. All of my potential and ideals might have gone unfulfilled if ESAIC hadn’t reached out to me — a newcomer from a snowy city far, far away. Moreover, I now have the courage to dream even bigger, as a rooted and prestigious foundation like the ESAIC has always appreciated my efforts to contribute, in a transparent and professional manner, helping me raise my own expectations. Each time I’ve grown more certain of my skills, the ESAIC has offered me new challenges to pursue, constantly keeping my soul thriving as I continue my journey of growth and purpose. And none of this would have been possible without my department at Atatürk University, which believed in me and supported my plans. 

May 28, 09:00 am. Erzurum Airport. 
I’m waving at my husband, who is picking me up. He understands from the tired but gracious smile on my face that I’ve done well. He — my steadfast companion through endless travels back and forth to Istanbul and Ankara for visa appointments — is used to me always pushing the limits (and spending all my budget to attend another Euroanaesthesia). 

On our way to my hospital, I peacefully gaze at the misty, towering mountains that surround this white city. The mountains that have watched over my loved ones and me for years. I’ve always felt the call of a higher purpose beyond those peaks, ever since I was a child. Legend has it that an ancient and magical dragon nests upon the peak of Palandöken Mountain — a creature one can only witness by reaching its summit and looking down at the city. 

Now, I realise that my why is written upon the nest of the dragon, on the hills, and through the steppe: the bozkır. 

Therefore, my destination is clear: I aspire to grow wings strong enough to fly over the snow, and a heart gentle and humble enough to return to care for and heal the souls who need me on this land.

Author

• Miraç Selcen Özkal Yalın, Trainee of Anaesthesiology and Reanimation, Ataturk University Research Hospital, Erzurum, Turkiye